Toss Me A Rope

It’s Mother’s Day and I am completely out of inspired mothering anecdotes.  The truth is I miss my mom!  Mother’s Day (and every day) bring fond memories of the fun things I did with my mother.  My mom was such an amazing woman!  She was so warm and welcoming  – she made you feel that you were the best thing that had happened to her all day!

As a child, my mom was my refuge, my safe place when the world was too scary for me – which was most all of the time. The neighbors where I grew up tell the story of my summer before kindergarten.  To my little five-year old mind, the scariest thing in the world was to be alone.  I knew I was going to school in the fall.  This meant that my mother would be left alone, without me to take care of her.  Yes, she did have my brother who was fifteen months old, but he really didn’t count because she had to take care of him – he couldn’t take care of her – not like I could!

So, being the care-taker that I was, I marched two doors down the street to the home of my mother’s best friend and explained the problem to her . . . “Mrs. Pyden” I said,
“I am going to school in the fall and my mother is going to be left all alone.  Would you please visit her while I am in school?”  When Mrs. Pyden retold the story years later she said that it was all she could do not to burst out laughing . . . but at the time I remember that she solemnly promised that she would faithfully visit.

Now, these many years later, having been a mother myself, I know that my mother was doing the “happy dance” at the prospect of me being off to school and her having a little time to herself!  Interesting how time and life experience changes our perspective of things!  So what is scaring you today?  With a little time and life-experience with God you may be doing the “happy dance” about that very thing tomorrow!   I would love to hear about it!

Jon came home from school yesterday carrying a Mother’s Day surprise. He had decorated a cake just for me.  This gesture should melt any mother’s heart, and it did. It also made me laugh. You see, on the bus ride home from school my carefully decorated cake took a dive. By the time it got to me it looked as if it had exploded inside its plastic box.  After dinner we opened the box and attacked it with forks; no need to cut it into pieces.

With Mother’s Day a couple of days away I have read many inspirational, encouraging, and heartwarming stories on the joys of motherhood. The running theme is motherhood is the greatest job in the world, and your children will rise up and call you blessed for all your efforts. You might notice a hint of sarcasm in that last statement. It is not that I disagree. My problem is I don’t feel like I am the mother they write about in a Mother’s Day card. Honestly, I feel like Jon’s cake is a better representation of me. I’m a mess.

I knew that I wanted to write about this so I began to ask God for wisdom. I didn’t want to come to you and say mothering is hard and I feel like a failure. How depressing is that!  I wanted to be able to say that even though I feel like a failure, I’m not because I can see my hard work making a difference in my boys’ lives. I kept asking, but nothing happened.

So where does that leave me? Discouraged, yes, but not without hope. God didn’t give me evidence that I’m doing a good job, but instead, He reminded me that He uses the inadequate to do great things. He also reminded me that I am to live by faith and not by sight. My job as a mother is to fully rely on Jesus and then trust Him to do amazing things in my boys’ lives.

I don’t know where you are today. Do you feel like you are an inspiration for Hallmark or a culinary disaster? No matter where you are, remember it is only in your weakness that He is made strong. Walk by faith my friend.

It’s been said that “the only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper”! . . . and, “all change is perceived as loss”!  Both statements are profoundly true!  Many times change is  unpredictable, but it also has a certain inevitability . . . it’s part of being alive!

As an adult, I have had my share of change.  My first husband dropped dead at 45 years of age, and as a result I took over the family business.  Eighteen months later, God opened the door to work in full-time ministry here in Texas.  I sold my house, put my business on the market and moved from the Detroit suburbs (where I had lived all my life) to San Antonio, Texas – alone.

It is safe to say that the move to Texas was the hardest thing I have ever done.  I married at 19 years of age, and moved from my parents house to my own home with my new husband.  In all my life up to the move, I had never lived alone.  When I moved, I left behind three young-adult children, my mother, two siblings and their families, along with myriads of long-time dear friends.

You may be asking yourself what would cause a young 40-something widow to move all by herself -  away from every support system to an unknown place? The answer to that question is that God made it VERY clear that HE was asking me to move to Texas. When it is clear that God is asking you to do something you have two choices . . . obey and step out in faith,  OR disobey and be miserable!  I chose the former!

I have decided that one of the things that makes change so hard is the sense of loss and the fear that accompanies stepping out into the unknown.  I will never forget the gift of these words from a dear friend . . . “As a child of God, when you are on a precipice about to step out into the unknown, one of two things will happen – either you will step out onto solid ground or God will give you wings!”  So tell me, what change are you facing right now?   May I encourage you to move confidently into the unknown. . .  God will provide stepping stones or wings!